Trump’s Iran Decision: What If?

Okay. So today the Spirited Reasoner was just wondering … What if the following scenario really happened?

Scene: White House Situation Room

Situation: Launching a strike against Iran in retaliation for the shooting down of an American drone.

We join the key advisors in the Situation Room, just fifteen minutes before the military assets are to be deployed. President Trump is at the head of the table.

White House Aide (whispering into President Trump’s ear): “Sir, you have an incoming call.”

Trump: “Tell them I’m busy.”

White House Aide: “Sir, it’s President Putin. You know, the guy from Russia.”

Trump: “Putin? Did you say Putin?”

White House Aide: “Yessir. Vladimir Putin.”

Trump: “I’ll need to go to your office. Can you put the call through over there?”

White House Aide: “Yessir.”

We shift to an office across the hall, where a landline phone rings as President Trump enters and quickly slams the door behind him. He picks up the phone.

Trump: “Vlad? Is that you?”

Putin: “Da. It is me. Is that you, Donald?”

Trump: “Yeah. I’m here. Listen, I can’t talk right now. I’m about to launch a strike on Iran.”

Putin: “You must be a reader of minds. That is precisely why I am calling.”

Trump: “About Iran? What’s up?”

Putin: “You remember those videos I have?”

Trump: “You mean …”

Putin: “Exactly.”

Trump: “Those weren’t Iranian girls.”

Putin: “Makes no difference. I still have the videos, safe and sound in my desk drawer.”

Trump: “You wouldn’t …”

Putin: “Da. I would. But of course, I would be happy to leave them in that drawer if you should decide to cancel that silly air strike.”

Trump: “But Vlad. You don’t understand. I’ve been telling everyone I’m going to hit Iran. People won’t understand it if I call the whole thing off.”

Putin: “Tell them you felt a wave of compassion for all the innocent Iranian lives who might be lost, all for the loss of one non-human American drone.”

Trump: “You think they’d go for it?”

Putin: “Of course they would. Especially your supporters. They believe everything you say.”

Trump: “And you promise you won’t show the videos.”

Putin: “Cross my heart and hope to die. That’s what you Americans say, no?”

Trump: “Okay. Deal.”

Putin: “So, you need to get back into the Situation Room to stop this thing.”

Trump: “I’m on my way.”

Putin: “No need to hurry on my account.”